Zoee: Reality 7

He turns around and heads back towards his old room. Standing there confused, I take the candle and the towel with me and return to the master bathroom. I rest the candle down by the sink and lay the towel at the base of the tub to step on when I get out of the shower. I step in the tub and stare up at the two rings above me. They don't appear to be pipes to spray down water but they are quite thick.

I turn the center knob upwards to make the water flow to the shower spout above me and wrap the shower curtain around the tub. Turning the hot water knob, I hope that the water will somehow be warm when it comes out. As soon as the chill of the water hits me, I stop breathing for a moment. I knew it would be cold but had no idea how cold it would really be. After a few moments, my body becomes used to the chill of the water hitting my body but I still remain covered in goose bumps. I grab a nearby bar of soap and lather it in my hands to clean my body. I clean myself off as quickly as possible and shut the freezing water off.  I step out of the tub and dry of my feet and lower legs before picking the towel up to wrap the rest of my body.  I walk out of the bathroom and walk out to findCody. I head back towards his old bedroom and knock on the closed door.  Cody walks out and cocks his head at me wrapped in a towel, my red curls weighed down by the water that is resting in them.

"Do you have extra clothes that I could wear?"

"We really didn't think this whole thing through of you staying the night," Cody chuckles as he walks back into his room, suitcases open all over the floor.

I feel a pang of sadness as I look around at the empty walls.  They used to have posters, his train bed sitting in the middle of the back wall with toys all over the floor. Cody hands me a pair of sleep pants and a wife beater. I smile and take them into his old bathroom and change into his clothes and wrap my hair in the towel.  The mirror that used to be in here is missing as well so I can't check if my nipples are bleeding through the white top or not. I leave from the bathroom and go back into Cody's bedroom. I sit down on his floor as he fidgets through his suitcase.

"So seriously," I pry. "What are those rings about in the master bathroom?"

Cody's head bends his head in to his chest and sighs deeply. "It's for hanging someone up."

"You do what?"

"You have someone wrapped up in ropes around the body and a rope connects to them to the rings to hang them above." Cody explains as he turns around to face me.

"You HANG people in there?" my jaw hangs in absolute shock. "Why would you do that?"

"I'm not the one that installed those there!" Cody's voice rises defensively. "It's not as creepy as you think; it's more of a sexual thing."

"Like people that choke themselves?"

"No! No, no. Not like that. I really don't know how to explain it I guess without it sounding weird."

I sit and try to imagine how exactly it would work but I cannot seem to wrap my head around the idea. I have tried a various amount of sexual activities with previous lovers and have seen my fair share of pornography but I cannot recall anything with people hanging in a bathroom. Cody sits on the floor next to me and wraps his arm around me to pull me close to him.

"Please don't be freaked out," he whispers.

"I'm not; I'm just confused about it and trying to figure it out."

"So, what do you want to do for the rest of today?"

"I honestly have no clue. It's not like we can pretend to be teenage mutant ninja turtles anymore."

Zoee: Reality 6

I finish off the meal and start peaking through the cabinets in the kitchen which are all empty.  Cody must have already sold or taken things to Salvation Army.

"Well," I announce as I close a cabinet door. "I'm going to try a shower in the master bathroom since I haven't been in there yet."

I bounce down the hallway excitedly. I'm anxious to see into the rooms closed off to me in my past.  As I open the door to the master bedroom, the curtains in this room almost seem thicker than those in the rest of the house. The only thing in this room is a large Persian rug lying on the center of the hardwood floor.  I see the open door with tile flooring and head in that direction to explore the master bathroom. Pushing past the door, room is covered in white tiles. A white sink and a white claw foot tub with a white shower curtain hanging on a white rod encircling above the tub.  At the center of the ceiling above the tub there are two white hoops.  You can see the difference of sun exposure on the wall from where a mirror used to rest.  With how white the bathroom is, it still is quite dark with no window to let in light and no light coming from the bedroom. I head back to steal a lit candle from the mantle.  When I get back to the living room, I notice that all of the candles are no longer lit. I look along the mantle but cannot seem to find matches anywhere.

"Hey Cody! Can I get a light for one of these candles? It's way too dark in there to shower without one."

Cody comes from the back hallway where his room used to be with a towel in hand and a smile on his face.

"Don't forget, there's no electricity so there won't be any warm water."

"I think somehow I'll make due. Say, what are those hoops for above the bathtub? Any clue?"

"Um," his face turns a shade of red as he lights a candle on the mantle. "I, go take your shower."

Zoee: Reality 5

"Five years? Why would your dad do that?"
Cody doesn't answer but simply continues lighting candle after candle along the mantle. As the room fills with light, I can see how much the room as changed from what I remembered. A single pull out couch lays open with disheveled sheets laying across it. Family pictures still hang on the wall but the entertainment center and bookshelves all sit empty. I reach down and pick up up an open photo album that was resting on the pullout bed. It's open to a page of two six year old kids; a boy with shaggy brown hair in an orange shirt and blue shorts tickling a curly red-headed girl in a blue flower-print dress.  Looking through the album, there are pictures of the two kids, other neighborhood kids, Cody's mom, but not a single picture of Cody's dad.
"What happened to all the stuff in here?" I ask.
"Most of it mom and I packed with us. It seems he never really filled the place back up."
I set the book down on the floor and lay under the sheets, after drinking and dancing most the night it feels good to relax in the comfort of the bed.
"Going to sleep already?" Cody says teasingly.
"It's late, come on and lay down. We can catch up more in the morning." I answer sleepily.
He lays down over the covers behind me. I raise my head slightly to allow his arm to give pillow to my head as he wraps his other arm around me. We lay close together, our deep breathing becoming in sync as we drift to sleep.
I wake the next day laying alone in the living room which is still blanketed in darkness with all of the curtains heavily blanketing the windows.  I head to the bathroom down the hallway to use the restroom and brush my teeth.
"Cody?" I call out. "Do you mind if I use your toothbrush?"
"That's fine," his response echoes from the kitchen. "I went and grabbed something to eat."
I take care of my morning bathroom needs and make my way to the kitchen. The appliances from the kitchen have all been stripped out, the place where the kitchen table used to stand rests empty. A waffle house bag rests on the counter next to Cody. He has a grilled cheese and two pieces of bacon on a plastic plate that he hands to me.  Eating the grilled cheese sandwich, it feels room temperature.
"What time is it?" I ask after swallowing my first bite.
"It's only about ten-thirty in the morning."
"How long have you been up?"
"For a good while now. How did you sleep?"
"My neck is a little sore, but that's probably from sleeping with my neck at an angle since you got up before me."
"I'm sorry," Cody says smiling softly at me.
"So should I take a shower here and hang out for the day or do you want to send me off home?"
"You're welcome to stay, there's nothing that I can really do about going through my dad's accounts until Monday so I've got to wait out the weekend."
"Oh, so I can be nosey and explore into new places like your parents room."
"Might not be as exciting as you think it might be," he laughs.

Zoee: Reality 4

Grabbing him by the arm I lead him out of the bar.  Some people are still hanging outside of the bar, waiting on cabs or just chatting with one another before they leave to their cars.  The autumn chill in the air is raising goose bumps over my arm as I guide him through the parking lot.
“So if I drive you home, what about your car?” I wonder aloud.
“I took a cab out here tonight,” Cody chuckles.  “You’re actually saving me a few bucks taking me back home.”
"Okay, then this should make us even for you paying my tab." I say walking over to a blue mini cooper with white racing stripes.
"How'd you snag a nice car like this?"
"I snagged it off the lemon lot." I laugh. "Some guy was getting stationed overseas and was practically giving it away. It's been a nice ride."
"I had a Dodge Challenger back home."
"Had? What happened to it?"
"It was becoming more of a burden than anything living in San Diego. It was cheaper to just use the public transportation and my own two feet than keeping the car for an occasional drive. I paid the insurance on it more than I drove it."
The drive back home was a brief fifteen minutes of catching up about jobs and college.  He's working as a chef for a French cuisine restaurant and I talked to him about working as a dental assistant.  Cody asked some about my parents while I avoided the subject of his.  Pulling into the driveway of his dad's house, I ask what he is going to do with the place.
"I don't know honestly," he answers. "I've thought about moving into it since it carries no payments on it and I'm tired of renting but I do not know about making a life here."
I stand eagerly behind him, excited to see how the inside has changed from how I last remembered it. As he pulls the door back, it is hard to see inside past the dark foyer. He grabs my hand and leads me into the darkened cover of the house and shuts the door behind me.
"Um, are we going to turn the lights on at all?"
"From what the electric company told me," his voice calls over from the flame of a match moving towards a candle on the mantle. "The electric here has been shut off for five years."

Zoee: Reality 3

“What?” I strain to get a better look at his face when suddenly it hits me.  “Cody?  I haven’t seen you lived in the house behind mine in elementary school!”

“Back when we used to play Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle and you swore to everyone that you were going to marry me?” he chuckles at me teasingly.

“Oh my gosh...  Give me a break, I was maybe six. ” I groan before lightly rolling my fist into his shoulder.  “So what the hell are you drinking?”

“Vampire’s Dream; it’s just rum, pineapple, cranberry juice and a splash of grenadine.”

“Ughh, so many fruits…  So anyway, what brings you back to O’Fallon?”

My question brings a solemn look to his face.  “Actually, my father just passed away.  I was coming to handle the affairs of his estate.”

That answer sucks the breath from me as though I had been punched in the gut.  Cody and his mom had moved away in fifth grade after his parents divorced.  Never really quite understood what happened between them, but even though his dad stayed in that house behind us we never really saw him anymore after that.  Come to think of it, we really never saw much of him even when Cody and his mom lived there.

“I am so sorry, is there anything that I can do?”

Matt and Nico are starting to wipe down tables and stack chairs on top of them.  They are subtly working on pushing the patrons out the door.  I want to catch up more with Cody but we have to leave so they can close up.

“Let me give you a ride back to your place,” I offer.  “Are you staying in your dad’s place or in a hotel?”

“That’s kind of why I came up here to the bar,” Cody says into his glass.  “I’m staying at my dad’s place but it is honestly really hard for me to be in there alone with all of his stuff.”

“Well, you can’t stay here all night.” I laugh.  “How about I come spend the night?  Just like when we were kids.  It’ll be fun.”

“There you go again,” Cody says poking me in the side.  “Inviting yourself over, just like when you were little.”

“Come on,” I whine playfully pulling on his arm.

“Fine, okay, okay.” He says pushing his drink away.  “I wasn't planning on taking anyone home tonight but I guess I’ll just have to take home the hottest chick in the bar.”

“Oh shut up!”

Zoee: Reality 2

            The bass of the music rattles into my body as I move with the rhythm of the music; the smoke clearly identifying the lasers and lights dancing through the dark fog of the room.  The muscles in my arms and legs ache from the constant movements of my body while my lungs burn for fresh air, my heart pushing to keep up with me and the alcohol numbing my brain's ability to fully comprehend my exhaustion.  As the music comes to a stop, the colored lights stop and the bar lights turn on.

"Last call for alcohol," a voice cheerfully announces over the speakers "You don't have to go home but you can't stay here."

I make my way over to the bar to pay my tab. I stick out like a sore thumb in this crowd of people all dressed in blacks and reds. Wearing white go-go boots with an orange crocheted dress makes the white slip underneath scream out for attention.  I don't worry about my dress riding up to reveal anything as I wore a pair of blue boy-shorts underneath.   I finally get Nico's attention behind the bar and wave my debit card to indicate that I'm ready to pay off my tab.  He shakes his head at me and indicates to a guy sitting at the end of the bar with shaggy black hair and blue-tinted sunglasses. In a sea of tall skinny white boys wearing Newrocks, he stands out on his own in his hippie attire. His scruffy face was a change from the clean shaven boys of the club; he actually carries a light tan compared to pale bodies that usually fill the bar.

I have to wonder what brings him to this bar.  I know I come to dance but all he's doing is sitting there with some cranberry mix drink in front of him. I suppose I should go over and talk to him for a bit for paying my tab. Nico's always been good for watching my back for weirdos which makes me feel way more comfortable talking to this stranger here than anywhere else.  I make my way around the bar and lightly tap him on the shoulder.

“Thanks stranger,” I smile to him as he turns around in his seat.”

“Stranger?” he responds in shock.  “Are you saying that you don’t recognize me, Zoee?”

Zoee: Reality 1

"Why the fuck are you crying?" I ask, staring blankly at this grown man sobbing across the table in this dingy diner.
"I can't stand the pain that I am putting your through," he whimpers out.
"No," I tell him sternly as I slam my hands to the table, pushing myself up to standing. "You do not have the right to cry about dumping me."
I leave from the booth and walk away from the idiot crying in the booth.  I put my life on hold for five months while this jerk was deployed overseas, stayed up late to Skype with him, and mail each other gifts.  He returns back to O'Fallon and we spend all of our time together.  He's texting me about how he misses me and an hour later, on my lunch break, he breaks up with me.
"I just don't think you're the one," I mutter the memory of what he told me under my breath.
I get into my car to drive back to my cozy apartment in town.  I have not been out to the bar since he had returned to town. I plan to go out and enjoy myself, start living my life instead of placing it on hold. I'm going to get myself dressed up and just have fun.